Why did this happen to me?

We have all asked ourselves this particular question, or many variations of the same, at least once in life. Why did I fail? Why did my heart break? Why did I lose it?

 

Life comes with all sorts of puzzles that have no solutions. We face situations that drain us emotionally, physically, mentally and what not. And we say, “why me?”

I often hear an explanation, “Because you are a tough nut to crack”
Or a consolation, “It’ll get better soon.”
Or an advice too, “You’re overreacting, you need to distract yourself”

All nonsense.

Things happen to us. Without explanation. And it hurts.
I feel there is no shame in the hurt. No pride either, but no shame at all. Because if it hurts, then it means I am alive.

So I don’t look for underlying causes anymore. I don’t look for whys anymore. I just let it be.  🙂

Break my dream into a million pieces and I’ll spread a million new dreams in this world.
For you know how to disregard dreams, I only know how to see them and live them.
Break my heart in a million pieces and I’ll spread love in this world, a million times over.
For you know how to break a heart, I only know how to spread love and happiness.

 

Find the strength in yourself, everything else will find a way

 

~ Poetry ~

It was me you blessed with a splendor
And I was searching the world
In smiles, you gave me the answer
And in frowns I always searched

All my life I looked up to you
I hoped for things I never knew
You smiled as I struggled on
I worked and cursed without a clue

You held me close to yourself
You blessed me in ways I never saw
You held me when I needed to jump
And I thought limping was my flaw

 

~ Never ask why, it just works out somehow

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Unrequited Love

We often meet different people. We feel they might be our soulmates, but with diverged paths.
Things are so meant to be, yet not supposed to be. Somehow, right there and not there

As a writer, I have written a lot about broken hearts, or about perfect love.

Last night I was thinking..

What of love never completed, of love that is there but never becomes a reality.
What of love that never breaks your heart, nor fills your life?

 

Love is our favorite word, our best feeling and the one and only hope that keeps us alive.

Love, broken or perfect, is love in the end.

 

And it is worth everything in this world.

 

{~ Inspired Poetry ~}

 

I wish I could travel back in time
And change a few dates
I wish I could come back to this moment
And be sure of their fate

I wish there were things possible
And not just some momentary love
Not an affair spoken of, yet untold
But a perfection, high above

Years apart, yet so close
Some drizzle once met a hurricane
A storm brewed, the calm fell
Yet the world only saw some rain

A promise of staying, ever so secret
A hope that died long before
Still breathing inside those hidden hearts
Is love, so reluctant, yet evermore

They won’t understand, they’ll never know
For Radha was elder to the one she adored
Yet a promise was made, so lovingly
She is always spoken of, before the Lord

 

~ Mohabbat ki laqueer zindagi se judaa nahi

Lovely Musings

A mid-week cheery hello! 😀

Am I too happy for a Wednesday? My apologies 😛

I had a terrible metro ride but that did not affect my mood, thankfully.
I am in a very creative and thoughtful place today, mentally.

A broken heart creates the best art, I have heard.
And I wonder, does it?

I haven’t watched the movie “Rockstar”  cue *gasp*
But.. But I have heard the jokes and memorable dialogues. So I wonder if a broken heart really works that magic?

Maybe it does. I am remembering all the times an unavailable dress size has broken my heart and helped me lose weight. *chuckles*

All right, no disrespect. To all of you out there, nursing a broken heart, a bad feeling, divert that energy somewhere 🙂

Worth a shot!!

 

\~ Poetry ~/

 

Magic of a broken heart

She said, “Maybe in another lifetime Romeo”
And there he was, left, with a heart full of love
So he immortalized her in an art he knew best
A statue mounted on a pedestal, high above

Her every feature, like that of an angel
So sublime that it caught everyone’s eye
He even gave her the wings of freedom
So she soared high up into the sky

Her place was so high in his world
But she said another lifetime Romeo
So he just drew delicate art from love
As he sat alone in his studio

She was his worst fall, his greatest flight
She was the reason for all his art
She knew not what Romeo was worthy of
For she had never seen his heart

He spends his life now, trapping her beauty
His art so touching, is adored everywhere
But he keeps a secret well-guarded in his chest
The broken pieces of his love so unfair

 

 

~ Love will always find a way

A painful heart

I refuse to pray for Paris. I want to pray for humanity today. I want to pray for a world where I would want to have children, for a world where I would trust without fear, for a world where I can say, “yes, I’ll come home from work today,”

I refuse to pray to any god today, for my heart is shattered. No, not for Paris, not for Beirut, not for Baghdad. My heart is shattered for it has followed the religion of humanity. And that is being violated and murdered openly.

I am ashamed of myself today.
And I am ashamed of my words.
How helpless.
How limited.

I have absolutely no power in this world. My words are only making me feel better. Nothing else.

I have gifted words to the people around me. I think humanity should be gifted now.

I often pray, and today I weep. We don’t have a prayer strong enough to bring back the humanity we have lost.

Our god is not strong enough to survive this. All of our gods, put together, will not survive this.

I mourn tonight

And now I see them walking by
And emotions, everything died
All they did was shriek out
Ask some questions, really loud

Candles don’t do the trick
Evaporated wax, burnt wick
A quiet scream hurts none
Really, it’s bullets from a gun

This isn’t a time of valiant or braves
Nor a time of helpers or slaves
It is the age of selfish lives
Of illusory, jealousy and lies

Today, I think of a golden time
When this world was really just fine
When people really fought for one another
And when brothers truly loved as brothers

Babies grew up with lessons of peace
Believed in the love of a family
Today love hurts and hatred stays
And we witness these blood rains

Sometimes I get angry, I lose it
Anger pulls the weakness trick
I must remember, emotions fail
It’s concrete thoughts that leave a trail

I gather it all and pick up my pen
Sit down at my desk there and then
I write of my memory, painful and strong
Solidify it with words, like a song

Last night I dreamed what if that was my family?
Last night I woke up, fearfully
Tonight I decide, never again
Tonight it is decided, no more deaths in vain

~ This planet is unfit for life

The Festival of Lights

                                                      A very Happy Diwali to all of you!!

Just like every other festival we celebrate, this is a day we wish for prosperity, peace, and light during the darkest of times. Very beautiful stories come with every joyous occasion and so is the case here.

I won’t write about those stories, we know them off by heart. we hear them, we use them as examples.
Whenever I see people celebrate so extravagantly, I can’t help but feel sorry for those who can’t.

For any reason whatsoever.

Suffering is the plague of today’s world. And I feel guilty when I close my eyes to all of it and say “I am happy because I get to celebrate a festival today.”

“Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.” – Pablo Neruda

I wish we would celebrate festivals with an actual sharing spirit and give happiness a real chance. Think about others for once.

People are losing their lives to wars, depression, hunger, and so many things unspeakable.

This Diwali, I hope we become enlightened enough to help curb that.

Wars

Victors are those who died
And achievers are those who died with a name
Masters are those who lived free
And winners are those who never played this game

A battle is always won
By those who don’t see the aftermath
And a war is ended
By those who are free to walk the lit path

What is victory if I have blood to mop?
And what is freedom if I see an orphan
What is a win with countless widows?
And what is a triumph with deliberate arson

I see the loss, on every side of the line
And I see the enemies of mankind
I see the hunger for something that can’t be owned
And I see that all the justice has turned blind

We fight for names we made up
And we fight till our last breath
We think it’s a beauty, and a right to kill
And applaud ourselves for every death

Where is the love we write about?
And where is the peace of our minds?
Where is the satisfaction of being happy?
And why are the peace-lovers left behind?

While I write these words, I wonder
If ever there would be what we talk of
I wonder how many more voices will die out
As they scream about the evident loss

We are all at war, some way or the other
Sometimes, it’s a war inside our very heads
Sometimes we fight against our own brothers
And at times, we are arguing with words unsaid

Let’s end wars, and every fight and disagreement
Let’s give space, allowance and a little chance
Let’s try to go where no one ever went
And put this world into an unknown peaceful trance

~ Let there be no dark times anymore

Rulers

Our thoughts are in constant motion, that’s what makes us alive. And mine are especially vigorous, trying to toy with ideas previously unknown.

Today, I have been wondering what we are made of. Not a single thing definitely, I feel we are a combination of many different tiny pieces given to us by the life we live, the people we meet, the experiences we have.

“Wise are the ones who learn from their experiences…” – Can’t remember the source

I have always thought of our qualities to be our children. They grow up with us, strong or weak, and influence what we become.

The rulers of our lives are within, and we blame a thing called circumstance.

[~ POETRY ~]

Children of Man

The youngest child is usually the most spoiled but
Wisdom is the most neglected child man ever bore
And this neglect is disguised well under the ruse of
Ego, a child, and a mask we all have lovingly worn

Anger, under the pretense of a harmless child
Is the dragon which burns everything in its way
The one who has always gifted a smile
He is Respect, the weakest child of the chalet

There is also a child, sulking in the shadows
Vengeance, like a poisonous flower beyond a fence
Then there is a child who grew up before time
And we lovingly named him Patience

He holds hands with a young child so sweet
Love, the one who radiates a protecting aura
Another baby is a child who plays with the flames
He is Faith, who lights up the darkest of an era

And when the dark times are lit up
Hope, the brawny child, takes hold of our hand
Another child plays with a shield in a corner
Will power, he holds it up, whenever we fail to stand

His tough twin makes us stand up tall
Courage, he hands us a sword
And then there is a child who looks back from the glass
He is Truth, who peeks when a fact is ignored

A child, out in the garden, is planting shrubs
Humility has always had his head bowed down
And the other child, has his head held up high
Honor, he has always worn a crown

The strong one, walks on coals and doesn’t moan
Endurance, he faces everything like a supreme
And then the child, who doesn’t have anything
Jealousy, he tears out his hair and screams.

~ Innocence doesn’t take birth anymore

Fleeting Thoughts

Cynicism often finds its way into my head, sometimes due to admiration for the genius that was Oscar Wilde, and at other times due to the real world around me. One way or the other, it turns out to be an enjoyable conversation I have in my head. Cynic or otherwise  😛

tumblr_ly7we21Fdu1qh3rjlo1_500

Writing about death, I wondered, how many times do we wish for things to last forever. Diamonds, relationships, smiles, happiness. Always, that seems to be our favorite word.

“Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.” – Oscar Wilde

Rightly said Sir! 😀

Let’s brief it up.

Make it momentary

Like twilight. 🙂

{~ Poetry ~}

TWILIGHT

The romance is in the eyes of the lovers
Look closely once, you’ll see
If not a lover you find around
Then lie down under the starry sea

No not midnight, not the darkest hour
What good is love so openly
Lie down, spot it, it is right there
Watch the twilight sky, closely

The stars are so faint, so shy of the emotion
The sun, it dies, to give way to its lovers
The rays, painting what words could never speak
The sky is like a bouquet of twinkling flowers

Twilight, the moment when time meets
The kiss of a lover, momentary
Twilight so brief, like short-lived romance
More spoken of than a long love-story

If I had to choose a time for love
I would choose the twilight, every single time
For the day isn’t madness and the night too wild
But twilight is perfect for every love to shine

It is the time, when most hearts are stolen
When most murders are done by serial killers
Look at me, smiling, for I know this will end
I am stealing and murdering, such a sinner

Twilight is the devil’s time, we are no angels
So let’s choose this time of day
Not for a lifetime, nor an eternity
Let’s just love, till the last colorful ray

~ Just a second can last an eternity

A different Saturday

An unusual thought works its way into our heads sometimes. I have read The Book Thief many times, and the one thought that crosses my mind quite often is,

“I am haunted by humans…”- Death

We are so scared of meeting the end. The quest to live forever is time immemorial. The wish to turn immortality into a reality is deeply felt. And despite all our failures at achieving it, death is still an unacceptable alternative.

I wonder what this fear feels like. Or maybe not.

“Hello, old friend” – Harry Potter

( Poetry Today )


Death

He is here, hail him and blow the trumpets of delight
He is here, my friend, veiled as a dire enemy
He is here, my savior and my final call of rest
And I welcome him, because he will free me

He is here, with hope and some relief for me
He is here; to break the circle I am trapped in
He is the one; I was waiting for, for so long
The one, who is here, to fulfill my final wish,

Make sure you welcome him well for me
Decorate; celebrate, the day we would meet
He is my dearest friend and my first one too
So in the most fashionable fashion I want to greet

Don’t dare cry for me, and don’t curse even once
Don’t think why him, and don’t question fate
I have waited, and I have waited for a long time
I love that he is here, so you dare not hate

I have loved it here, living and loving so much
I have memories, those I could never make better
But I have reached the destiny I was looking for
So I won’t let any other tempting things matter

Life stayed with me, and now it is leaving
You grieve as I advance towards darkness
I was scared that I would be alone you know
But death, he comforted me with his caress

They call him evil, and that his heart is icy
They say he is cruel; that he is the master of lies
Ask me, I am standing in the doorway right now
He is helping me through, when life left me to die

~ Live life to the fullest

Friday Thoughts

New morning! Great weather and an incident free train ride! All in all, so far so good!

I had a different week, learnt a lot about people around me. A few things previously unknown.
Judgments. So easy to come by with the little information small minds gather from murky sources.
Okay, that was a lot of words, I know.
No hard feelings though!

I don’t mind being judged, too bad a memory to remember what people think about me. 😛
Or hold grudges.

Today!

I do mind when I see people judging others in front of me. In life, I have made it a point to be nice to everyone. I am no one to think they are beneath me. I stay friendly, and not just on the face, but genuinely.
Though I have seen the bad results this behavior can reap; people look for underlying reasons. Genuine care is often mistook for earning future favors.

I remember watching the movie, “The Help”. How terrible of us to think a human being of a different appearance is beneath us.
And how courageous of some of us to fight for what is right.

“Courage sometimes skips a generation. Thank you for bringing it back in our family” – The Help

{ He made you, He made me }

He made you, He made me
He made us human and free

Why a child doesn’t know
How different we are made
The god never cares about
How our colors might fade

He made you, He made me
He made us human and free

Why do we grow up
To think otherwise?
Beauty has a definition
So similar to disguise

He made you, He made me
He made us human and free

Break open your mind
Cut off all the reins
Let outfits not describe
Let skin color not explain

He made you, He made me
He made us human and free

Look for clarity amidst chaos
Do good and always stay kind
Never form an image to soon
At times, looks leave us blind

~ Appearances can be deceptive

Perspective

A very chilly, awesome morning! No one really wanted to come to office today, yet everyone did. Whining and complaining. Why aren’t we happy? Everything around us is!

Or so it seems. Before leaving for work, I had to pull one of my old shirts onto a dog, poor thing was shivering from the cold. Unable to walk. His legs seized up.  😦
Nature? Everything happens for a reason? Happens for good?

I don’t feel so. I do not agree. It is only perspective.

What good comes out of domestic violence? Public molestation? I guess the straight answer is a survivor becomes strong. Inspires the people around.

As much as we all want to inspire others, there is a simple thing no one told you about being inspirational. The other side of it.
You fight alone. You stay alone.
There are no scars. Only wounds that never heal. But they are relived, to give inspiration.

There is nothing heroic about surviving. It comes with a huge price.

Get to the top and the world is around you, but not with you. You may remember the journey and cry out of happiness, but not all of it motivated you to continue, not all of it was for your good. It was only how you saw it.

And I feel it should be okay. Giving up should be okay. No taboos attached. No perspective forced.
Everyone should be allowed to make their choice.  🙂

Just because you could not make it, doesn’t make you weak. It only makes you different. Unique.

[- Remember This -]

You reach the apex
And talk how great it was
Getting there

You seize the jackpot
And talk how great it was
Waiting there

You attain the calm
And talk how great it was
Fighting there

You know the curtain will fall
So talk how great it is
Standing here

We never hear stories
From those who failed
We never enjoy journeys
Of those who did not make it
We never value setbacks
Of those who did not survive

The travel was good, because you made it
The journey worthy, because the final stage is well-lit
Your story is heard, because of where you’ve reached
So it wasn’t your voyage, it was only that you finished.

~ Feel free. Make your choice.

~ Today ~