Getaway Plans

My Facebook newsfeed, social circle, and Instagram account are witnessing a major “Trip-Mania” right now. Everyone is posting getaway pictures, getting nostalgic about holidays and/or planning a new one!

And here I am, writing about it!
Cool, right? 😛

 

My getaway plans are blurry and far off right now, but they would materialize soon. Experts are on it, and by experts, I mean friends!

I think of a desert and remember the sands that made me
I hear the crashing waves and understand how the water flows inside me too
I reminisce the mountains and life echoes within me.

 

So when my friends ask, “Where to”, I just say, “YES!”

 

— Poetry —

She thought she was home
She settled in, comfortably
Then, adventure sent an invitation.

 

~ Why stay in one place? You’re not a tree.

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A Snooze Button

In the morning today, I had a hard time waking up. My alarm was snoozed for 10 mins, multiple times, because I wanted to postpone the day.

The entire day, I wished for a snooze button in real life! Just 10 mins to tune the world out and think. Feel. Refresh. Repeat.
I often remember my time alone at home. Solitary. Alone, not lonely. At peace, not troubled.

My friends wish for a happy ending for me. That I should get married. That I should have babies. That I should find peace in a person, in togetherness, in a socially-acceptable future.

How do I tell the world, all I need is a snooze button, and I’ll find my peace again.

 

— Poetry —

A tap, a touch, a welcome break
A small relief before the daybreak

A snooze button, too much that I ask?
A short sigh, a temporary chance

I like my persons, I love my peace
Not lonely, just alone, a chance to breathe

My reality is different from what you know
My wishes are deeper than what I show

A snooze button, just a small break
A relief from all the affections that are fake

 

 

~ Tera diya aur mera maanga bahut alag hain, par khush hun mai

Worthy Troubles

You do not believe you’re special, but someone, somewhere finds you special enough to give you attention, listen to what you say, be affected by what you feel.
You look at those people who have the affection of many, try to look at the person who is giving you all their affection.
When you overlook that one person, to that person, you’re a worthy trouble. You’re worthy, they love you, they care for you. But a trouble, a menace, a pinch.

I have been on both sides of this equation. I have experienced disrespect for my affections, and I have, unwillingly, delivered it too. And my active introspection has rewarded me with sleepless nights and rivers of tears for the same.

An apology, for what I become, unknowingly

— Poetry —

I do not understand his love
But he says he loves me
I do not speak his language
But he makes me understand

I do not know why life is this
But they say this is it
I do not see anything concrete
But something is building slowly

I do not belong to anyone
But he claims dominion
I do not feel any shackles
But something holds me down

I am a worthy trouble
And I have troubles of my own
My pretty words entrap a lot
But not who I am alone

 

~ Tu kya jaane kis kis manzil ko thukra ko tere raaste ko chuna hai humne

Change

Unexpected turn of tide. Randomness. No destiny in place, but just true coincidence.
A lot changes within days. Within seconds.
We endure what we could not imagine.
We smile through it all.

 

Change is a part of our lives. A very vital one. And yet, we resist it so much. So often. The only thing permanent in our life is change.
But we are not used to it.


~ Poetry ~

Words die out after sometime
Stories stay buried inside us
Life changes so often at times
All we do is make a fuss

We fail to recognize our own lives
Our reflections are so strange
Someone looks at me from the mirror
Same old life, yet so changed

I talked to the mirror tonight
I had a meaningful conversation
But when I left to join the crowd
My words were lost in translation

Change, it governs who we are
And who we will be tomorrow
Sometimes we smile and accept it
At other times, we lose ourselves in the sorrow

 

~ If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Madness

What pushes us off the edge? What becomes the last straw that breaks our back? We look at people lose temper, lose control over themselves at one time or the other. What I can’t seem to put my finger on is what decides this? Why can some people handle a few things easily and some others can’t.

I remember the Joker saying, “madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push!”
We are all inherently crazy. All of us strive for meaning in our lives, a meaning undefined, unfound, unfelt and nonexistent. Our ideal life maps are engraved on the palms of our hands and on the insides of our heads. And when reality deviates, these engravings burn and hurt so much, we sink into the realm of madness.

A single thing probably does not push us over, it is our inability to face the burden of so many things going wrong one by one. We see our ideal life falling apart and we wonder what we did wrong? Planning was perfect, celebrations were on-point. What went wrong, our insides scream to the universe. And the universe stays silent.

So, we escape. We try to find a way out of the disturbing mundane into some time of serene strangeness. Maybe strangers will help us realize that life goes on.

But life goes on with the ones we know. Life goes on with the ones who stuck around, no matter what. Trying to escape the mundane only throws you into the vortex of the unnecessary.

— Poetry Love —

I went around the world looking for peace
And I only found myself alone and lonely
I frantically looked for support and validation
And everything slipped from my hands, slowly

I escaped what I knew
I thought, maybe that’s the way
I ran away, and I kept running
I thought it was child’s play

Then, a voice of reason spoke
When all else was tuned out
It said, return to what you know
Don’t decide when in doubt

So I came back, the way I left
And I still think of it, when I am alone
I wonder what made me walk out this way
But that is something still unknown

~ Madness is like gravity, all you need is a hand to keep you from falling

 

Hairpin Turns

Life takes unexpected turns and advances. We plan and calculate everything, all the pros and cons, every single scenario is imagined and rehearsed. And suddenly, the world turns upside down. For a minute there, you can’t breathe. Calculate. Or understand. And then, when you do, when you catch your breathe and you do, it doesn’t feel that bad.

My road has been full of hairpin turns lately. Kind of explains why I have not been able to write for so long. Things have changed, and changed a lot. Again and again. Before I understood one part of what was happening, another part caught my attention. Day after day, things went from tough to tougher. Relief came too, I keep my safe havens in persons and places alike, but the whirlpool of life itself engulfed big chunks of me.

I do not belong to the groups I sit with. I do not conform with the ideals I am trying to meet. And I do not relate to a lot that I have become over the past few months.

 

I guess the above paragraph defines a lot of us.
But I remember reading, “The finest souls are those who gulped pain and avoided making others taste it.”
We change, we hate it, but we do not let others feel it. I do not understand myself lately, but I am not going to make it count to people around me.

*Poetry*

They judge me to be a person I am not
They see me in the light that never was
I have darkness that resides in me
For I need the shadows to feel complete

They don’t see it, they only judge
A part of the story, they form a grudge
Hatred I have earned, I wear it like a crown
I smile so much, every agony I drown

Every turn and twist in life is hard
Every painful episode, a broken heart
Memories faded, but the lessons remained
Feelings I lost, but strength I gained.

 

 

~ A hairpin turn is not the end. The story will go on.