Package

She is a complete package

A sentence so many young girls are hoping to hear. The burden of perfection is so huge, yet we put all of it on the ladies. So much on our plate, and the added requisition of perfection. Damn!

Young ladies, adolescents mostly, hope to lead perfect lives. Be a perfect package. God knows most of us adults hope for the same, even now.

The society matters.
Public opinion matters.
All opinion matters, except the one inside.

As an adult, I have heard ‘perfect package’ in different instances. For others, and sometimes for myself too.
And it has never been a compliment really.

It is a responsibility. More of an expectation. A perfect package is rarely a good thing.

Because, there is nowhere to go from perfect…

–Poetry–

A perfect package
Properly gift wrapped
The bow was so neat
The package, exquisite
But a perfect gift
Is the wrapped kinds
The one that stays
On the mantelpiece
Never undone, untouched
A joy of perfection
From afar
Perfect sounds good
It sounds so tempting
But perfect is perfect
Only from afar

 

~ There’s no such thing as a perfect package

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The Ambivert

I took a Caliper assessment test recently. It gave a result that I lack aggression.

Hmm

Surprising

Because people around me would swear otherwise
I am the angry young woman. Or maybe not..

I was always the introvert personality all my life. I never spoke to people myself, did not know how to initiate conversations and never tried to. A huge part of my life was spent in front of the mirror trying to build my confidence and the remainder was spent in getting it shattered by the seemingly better-at-conversation individuals. I never had the required self-reliance to even speak for myself. Add to that, the lesson of ‘putting others before yourself’ just silenced me further.

As time passed, I got diagnosed with a syndrome with no cure or apparent relief to its symptoms. My need for speaking up increased and my will did too. The jokes on my illness made me find a voice I thought I never had.

Today, 10 years later, I still find an introvert living inside me. In certain situations, my discomfort is unexplained and internal.

Perhaps this introvert inside me makes me less aggressive
My fight with it makes me irritated.
I don’t react.
I stay quiet.
And I explain it as observing.
And it seems that I am angry.

 

An ambivert- a mix of introvert and extrovert.
I prefer silence, but not always.
I love being on my own, mostly.
And I can speak, sometimes.

— Poetic Silence —

I think before I speak
I think so much
I do not speak.

 

~ They always said extroverts are better

The voice that should be silenced

Teri soch chhoti, aur aawaz bahut unchi hai
Sambhall jaa, soch le, rukk ja zara
Kisi din zindagi ne chup karaya
To aawaz kya, lafz bhi kho jayenge hamesha ke liye

 

Men fight for rights as if they have never had any this entire time. The lighter color of the population continues to dominate the darker one, irrespective of character. Dominance is exhibited in this world around me as if it were a prerequisite to live. People dominate on the basis of color, money, and so many more things.

The powerful have dominated over the powerless.

 

It is wrong to question the ways of the society. This is how it is, this is how it will be. That’s pretty much the bottom-line of everything that is wrong and can never be corrected.

I was sexualized at a very young age. My skirts were monitored, and any attempt at dressing up was scrutinized and met with a disgusted glare by family. I was made to live in a box made by the society where I was the one to be dominated over.
By parents.
By guys.
By men.
By relatives.
By teachers.
By the world.

But, thankfully, the universe was kind. It made me a black sheep. The bad egg. The weird one.
I grew up to not care. I grew out of the box without my family looking and now, I am beginning to grow wings.

 

I see the powerful dominate the powerless, and I know it is wrong. I no longer call it ‘the way this world works’.
There are many of us aware now.
And change begins after acceptance.

 

— Poetic Unrest —

 

One day this world will shut you up
For all the dominance that you have
The power well will soon dry up
And you’ll fall in your own trap

The day will come, when this era ends
When all humans will be the same
When color, gender, power won’t matter
When there will be no place for blame

That’s when you will shriek, “Unfair!”
And you will ask for your rights!
But the universe will take your voice and words
And your silent face will be a sight

Your whims and fancies won’t matter
Your dominion will come to an end
What you call majority, power, perfection
Will be the only dying trend.

 

~ All lives matter