The Ambivert

I took a Caliper assessment test recently. It gave a result that I lack aggression.

Hmm

Surprising

Because people around me would swear otherwise
I am the angry young woman. Or maybe not..

I was always the introvert personality all my life. I never spoke to people myself, did not know how to initiate conversations and never tried to. A huge part of my life was spent in front of the mirror trying to build my confidence and the remainder was spent in getting it shattered by the seemingly better-at-conversation individuals. I never had the required self-reliance to even speak for myself. Add to that, the lesson of ‘putting others before yourself’ just silenced me further.

As time passed, I got diagnosed with a syndrome with no cure or apparent relief to its symptoms. My need for speaking up increased and my will did too. The jokes on my illness made me find a voice I thought I never had.

Today, 10 years later, I still find an introvert living inside me. In certain situations, my discomfort is unexplained and internal.

Perhaps this introvert inside me makes me less aggressive
My fight with it makes me irritated.
I don’t react.
I stay quiet.
And I explain it as observing.
And it seems that I am angry.

 

An ambivert- a mix of introvert and extrovert.
I prefer silence, but not always.
I love being on my own, mostly.
And I can speak, sometimes.

— Poetic Silence —

I think before I speak
I think so much
I do not speak.

 

~ They always said extroverts are better

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