Insomnia

There are so many things that don’t let me sleep at night

There is a voice in my head that keeps talking to me in low tones. It gets loud sometimes. It speaks to me of unspeakable things. Vile, terrible things.

It talks to me about my insecurities. It reminds me how vulnerable I am, in certain ways, on certain days. Insomnia robs me of the one blessing we humans have– a break from reality, an ability to forget for a while.

 

I remember the time when I was scared that I’ll amount to nothing in my life– what will my family say?
I remember the time when a pimple on my face mattered so so much.
I remember a time when I was scared of school next day.
I remember when I was scared of talking to people.
I remember a lot.
Insomnia doesn’t let me forget.

 

We all have things that don’t let us sleep at night. The trick to being okay with all these things is to accept being un-okay.

 

 

— Poetic Musings —

A chance at forgetting all that went wrong
Was placed in front of me that night
I sat on the chair, facing the solution
A chance at setting everything right

And then I looked at myself in the mirror
The person who I am today
Take away one wrong from my 25 years
And a lot will go astray

Hence I decided to not take that chance
Live with insomnia like old friends do
Fears and insecurities make us who we are
Thanks to our mistakes that we grew

 

~ Build yourself from what went wrong.

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