Kya aesi baat hai iss duniya me
Jo insaniyat he lutt gayi hai harr kisi ki

I am tired. No, I am exhausted at how insensitive and mean we have become. We are made of stardust and magic, and yet, look at where we are now.

I sit in a room full of people to feel most uncomfortable about the vibe that flows through it. The conversations are full of lies, the glares are competitive and there is barely a soul in sight that is accepting and generous.

What is inside us, or in this world, that has eaten us up? We’re hollow beings walking around, making a lot of noise to gain attention. We are nothing but a bunch of jerks making life harder than it already is.

It is scary, this world that we live in. The monsters don’t wear their masks anymore.

–Lost Humanity–

We worship a plethora of Gods
But we have lost the God inside
Meaningless existence becomes our life
We’re hollow shells yet full of pride

They tell me, find someone, settle down
How do I find humanity in this mess?
Humans are torn apart every day
And yet they tell me, don’t stress

It is a scary world around me
Full of light, yet monsters lurk around
So I choose silence, and dreams
And I don’t make a single sound

~ What have we become?


The never-ending cycle

You end up in the place where you escaped from

It has been long since I posted something online. Some things just never make it out of my phone drafts, some others are lost in notebooks or word documents– lack of staying put in one place over the last month.

Anyway, I went around the country searching for a pain reliever for my bad leg, and came back to where I started from, Delhi, my doctor of 10 years, and a search for work to keep everything else at bay.
I ended up where I started.
‘Ha-ha’, I can hear the cosmos laugh.

I prefer taking the train to visit places within Delhi-NCR- gives me time to read. Yes, I am a compulsive reader- guilty as charged. At times, when I am not reading, I see how people rush to work in the morning, rush home in the evening. It’s amusing– you all are going to end up where you are escaping from.

I have visited this topic of hurry before as well, it is just intriguing to see so many people, with such little patience and so less time.
If only we could all focus on being humans, and not machines.

— Poetic Musings —

Happiness knocked on my door
I was in a hurry, no mood to entertain
So I left for work from the back door

A neighbor stopped me to chit-chat
I was in a hurry, no mood for talks
So I pretended to be on the phone

My wife called me to discuss some matter
I was in my office, whiling my time away
So I hung up, with a message, ‘I am busy’

My child said, ‘play with me, please’
But I was working on a presentation
So I called his mother, it was her job

Every step of the way, I escaped nicely
And my last time is here now, I need family
They find time to be here, unlike I did

Death stands here, in front of me
I am not in a hurry, first time ever
But he respects time more than I did


~ I escaped only to reach where I was destined to be


The strong one

This is not a movie review. And it isn’t a proclamation of my love for the movie either (though I do love it). It is a word challenge. A particularly difficult one, it came from an old friend, and he gave it with a smirk. I am sure he expected me to back out.
But taking up something seemingly impossible just has its rewards. Here, the reward will be poetic satisfaction. 🙂

Hence, no backing out.

Bahubali, the word itself, means the one with strong arms. Ancient drawings, sculptures and scripts define men as having arms ‘that reached their knees’

Damn, that’s long arms son! 😛

But, it was the way it was. Physical work was much more than what we have now and people were stronger, larger and much more heavily built. Evolution, I guess. (not an expert)

Bahubali is one such revered figure in history. And with imagination, extreme hard work and the right amount of dedication, it has now become a movie that’s making history.

— Poetic Trials —
Bahubali, the strong one
An idea of strength
Of valour and honesty
Dedication and righteousness

Bahubali, the strong one
Is not on-screen
Nor in writings
nor is there in sculptures

Bahubali, the strong one
Is inside you, me
everyone who ever dares
At least once in life

Bahubali, the strong one
comes to life, with eyes lit
when disaster strikes
and you choose to face it.


~ Challenge complete


She is a complete package

A sentence so many young girls are hoping to hear. The burden of perfection is so huge, yet we put all of it on the ladies. So much on our plate, and the added requisition of perfection. Damn!

Young ladies, adolescents mostly, hope to lead perfect lives. Be a perfect package. God knows most of us adults hope for the same, even now.

The society matters.
Public opinion matters.
All opinion matters, except the one inside.

As an adult, I have heard ‘perfect package’ in different instances. For others, and sometimes for myself too.
And it has never been a compliment really.

It is a responsibility. More of an expectation. A perfect package is rarely a good thing.

Because, there is nowhere to go from perfect…


A perfect package
Properly gift wrapped
The bow was so neat
The package, exquisite
But a perfect gift
Is the wrapped kinds
The one that stays
On the mantelpiece
Never undone, untouched
A joy of perfection
From afar
Perfect sounds good
It sounds so tempting
But perfect is perfect
Only from afar


~ There’s no such thing as a perfect package

The Ambivert

I took a Caliper assessment test recently. It gave a result that I lack aggression.



Because people around me would swear otherwise
I am the angry young woman. Or maybe not..

I was always the introvert personality all my life. I never spoke to people myself, did not know how to initiate conversations and never tried to. A huge part of my life was spent in front of the mirror trying to build my confidence and the remainder was spent in getting it shattered by the seemingly better-at-conversation individuals. I never had the required self-reliance to even speak for myself. Add to that, the lesson of ‘putting others before yourself’ just silenced me further.

As time passed, I got diagnosed with a syndrome with no cure or apparent relief to its symptoms. My need for speaking up increased and my will did too. The jokes on my illness made me find a voice I thought I never had.

Today, 10 years later, I still find an introvert living inside me. In certain situations, my discomfort is unexplained and internal.

Perhaps this introvert inside me makes me less aggressive
My fight with it makes me irritated.
I don’t react.
I stay quiet.
And I explain it as observing.
And it seems that I am angry.


An ambivert- a mix of introvert and extrovert.
I prefer silence, but not always.
I love being on my own, mostly.
And I can speak, sometimes.

— Poetic Silence —

I think before I speak
I think so much
I do not speak.


~ They always said extroverts are better

The voice that should be silenced

Teri soch chhoti, aur aawaz bahut unchi hai
Sambhall jaa, soch le, rukk ja zara
Kisi din zindagi ne chup karaya
To aawaz kya, lafz bhi kho jayenge hamesha ke liye


Men fight for rights as if they have never had any this entire time. The lighter color of the population continues to dominate the darker one, irrespective of character. Dominance is exhibited in this world around me as if it were a prerequisite to live. People dominate on the basis of color, money, and so many more things.

The powerful have dominated over the powerless.


It is wrong to question the ways of the society. This is how it is, this is how it will be. That’s pretty much the bottom-line of everything that is wrong and can never be corrected.

I was sexualized at a very young age. My skirts were monitored, and any attempt at dressing up was scrutinized and met with a disgusted glare by family. I was made to live in a box made by the society where I was the one to be dominated over.
By parents.
By guys.
By men.
By relatives.
By teachers.
By the world.

But, thankfully, the universe was kind. It made me a black sheep. The bad egg. The weird one.
I grew up to not care. I grew out of the box without my family looking and now, I am beginning to grow wings.


I see the powerful dominate the powerless, and I know it is wrong. I no longer call it ‘the way this world works’.
There are many of us aware now.
And change begins after acceptance.


— Poetic Unrest —


One day this world will shut you up
For all the dominance that you have
The power well will soon dry up
And you’ll fall in your own trap

The day will come, when this era ends
When all humans will be the same
When color, gender, power won’t matter
When there will be no place for blame

That’s when you will shriek, “Unfair!”
And you will ask for your rights!
But the universe will take your voice and words
And your silent face will be a sight

Your whims and fancies won’t matter
Your dominion will come to an end
What you call majority, power, perfection
Will be the only dying trend.


~ All lives matter

The glory of fiction

“I will make you an offer you can’t refuse”

Quoting the iconic words from the movie ‘Godfather’ puts the idea of a perfect situation in words. The brilliance of unprecedented odds, immense power and luck makes us forget the reality. Movies are like that, they show us a make-believe world, erasing all that is practical and possible, momentarily.

From the world of make-believe, we carry some expectations into the real world as well. We think of ourselves as the hero/villain (whichever suits best) and we imagine all the good things happening to us. And then, nothing of that sort ever happens.

Life has a cruel way of making us realize that we’re too small in front of it.
We are too meek to affect the grand plans.
But, I say
But, I know
But, I feel
We are all at least a part of the grand plan.
I might not affect it, but I am a part of it.
And in the grand plan, I shall play a vital role.


‘Sometimes it is the people who no one imagines anything of who do the things that no one can imagine…’- Alan Turing


Perhaps the best movie scene won’t happen to me, or maybe the perfect moment will never come in life. But, in entirety, I want to look back and smile.

Nothing is perfect, it just works, somehow.



They described perfection,
As what the society called right.
Ostracized, she described irony


~ There is no underdog or hero. Don’t wait for the perfect movie scene. Live your life.


To be or not to be

Dilemma. Drama. Doubts. An age old war of the wise thoughts and whimsical instincts.

We encounter dilemmas in all forms. Professionally, personally, everything in life has its way of walking up to us in the least expected form, and knocking on to our doors at the least expected time.
Dilemma has been a prominent part of my life. I am overly critical of myself and unnecessary doubts stem out of the criticism.
I think, therefore, I am.
I think too much, therefore, I am not…

Often, the dilemmas I land myself amidst are a product of the immense thoughts I put into matters. Thinking is a good thing, but an excess of everything is pretty bad for life, as we know it.

This little thing called life shouldn’t be taken very seriously perhaps. Maybe we could just walk through it. Like a stroll, through a garden. There are flowers, beautiful trees, thorns, and some terrible insects as well.
I don’t have to think a lot.
I don’t have to mull over everything to make it more confusing.
I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to.

When in a dilemma, ask what a child would do.
It will be the most honest and perfect thing to do in that situation.

— Poetic musings —

As a child, they taught me to bow
As an adult, they said stand upright
I do not know what to do anymore
Amidst a dilemma, I fight

As a girl, they said speak softly
As a woman they say, let your voice be heard
I do not understand what to do
Amidst a dilemma, I have no words

As a daughter, they said, be a son
As a daughter, they said, be one properly
I do not understand what to do
Amidst a dilemma, I am no one

As an adult, they said, find some company
As a lady, they said, not right for you
I do not understand how to choose
Amidst a dilemma, I have no clue

As a human, they said, learn to help
As an individual, they said, keep yourself first
I see persons stepping on others to succeed
Amidst a dilemma, I witness humanity that is cursed

~ A single dilemma can change the world. Or not.

Peace of mind

We often equate peace with constant routines. A relaxed atmosphere. Minimum challenges. If we are in a clockwork cycle, we must be at peace.
A kid that goes to school everyday cannot have mental challenges.
An employee that keeps his head down and works cannot be the one to question the on-goings.
A family member that is quiet at gatherings is probably someone who can take all those terrible jokes without letting it affect his self-esteem.

Common is often equated with normal.
Routine is often equated with peace.

What of the battles within? What of the struggles to recognize life as it is? What of the terrible dark days that scatter themselves amidst the seemingly normal life?

There are A-graders who cry alone at night and top-bosses who think too much and worry themselves into a demotion. There are happy people who indulge in self-harm as well.

If I am an outsider to your situation, I can assume you have a happy life.

“… each person comes with a story, and a string of personal struggles…”

{—Poetic Trials—}

Every morning she woke up, with a smile that wasn’t hers
Made her bed, opened the drapes, and did the same for years

She got dressed, looked in the mirror, and smiled to it
It smiled back, looked so happy, she was a perfect fit

A walk down the street, she met people with a smile
Her pretty face, twinkling eyes, everyone loved her style

She worked well each day, talked and laughed
She was a happy person
A perfect job, a life that everyone loved
There was no burden

And then she came home, in quite a lot of pain
She had things in her head that hurt
The day had blocked the voices out
But at night, there was no way to part

She played loud music, read books of love
But the voices never stopped talking
She calmed herself down, remembered happy things
But the bad thoughts kept knocking

She went to the mirror, smiled at it
The mirror smiled back, without asking why
The pillow she slept on, was always drenched
At least, she had taught the mirror to lie


~ Nothing is as it seems

Lost in a crowd

I gasp for some honest air amidst a crowd of liars

I have been away, lost in a crowd of people. Buried quite deep, so much that I had forgotten who I was. Things happened, some I caused, some on their own. And then, everything spiraled out of control. I am still gasping for air, amidst a crowd of strangers.

One constant held on, bled on my broken pieces, but held on. Still holds on.
And I hold my constant back.
My constant pulls me out of this crowd every night and lets me sleep.

Yesterday, while returning, I came across an old man. He was screaming loudly, to all those in a hurry, “Yes, run! Run! Be fast! Be quick! Run to get no where!”

Where am i getting?
No where…

I drown as I breathe.
I learn so much to be a fool.

With each passing day, as close as I get to destiny, I am leaving myself behind.

This post had so many thoughts, none really made sense.

~ Happiness is a concept not meant for the thinkers